Is it possible to be friend zoned

But you never know, right? Instead, the most effective and considerate way to have this conversation is to start with a question, such as, "I sometimes feel like you're interested in more than just friendship.

Am I wrong in feeling that way? One study found that people usually expect their honest communication efforts to be far more negative than they are, so the conversation itself might not be as difficult, painful, or awkward as you fear. Although it might be necessary for you to firmly let a girl know that you are not interested in a romantic relationship, this is not an excuse to be cruel, heartless, or deliberately harsh.

Putting someone in the friendzone should be just as much about their feelings and their well-being as it is about yours; you don't want to lead someone on or give them hope when you know there isn't any hope for a relationship down the road. When putting someone in the friendzone, make sure you keep this in mind; recognizing that the friendzone is a safe space for you and the person in it will help you keep kindness and compassion in your speech and behavior. Putting someone in the friendzone should not be left to passive-aggressive tactics or half-hearted efforts.

If you emphatically tell someone that you are friends, then follow that up a few days later with something such as, "I can't talk to anyone the way I can talk to you," that could easily be misinterpreted and seen as a romantic interest.

Instead, keep the thought to yourself, or say something that also reinforces your status as friends, such as "I'm grateful you've been such an incredible friend. In some cases, your covert attempts at friendzoning someone will not work, and you will have to be direct and firm in your speech. If this does happen, be aware that the woman you are friendzoning might be upset, feel betrayed, or feel misled. Even if none of those was your intention, your friend might feel that that is the case because they may have developed feelings for you.

Try to extend some grace in this situation, but make sure you set firm, healthy boundaries in the relationship to prevent further confusion and to keep you and your friend's emotional and mental states healthy. Finally, know that having these conversations can sometimes result in the loss of the relationship.

As painful as that might be, it could be in the best interest of you both ; it could be painful and frustrating for you to have to fend off romantic overtones and intentions constantly, and it could be painful for your friend to constantly have to quash their true feelings for you, in the hope that you someday change your mind.

Relationships are all complicated and, at times, difficult and confusing. This is particularly true of relationships involving one person who has a romantic interest in the other, while the other has no interest in anything but friendship.

Although relationships like these can work, provided that both parties adhere to boundaries and work on moving forward with agreed-upon relationship status, they can also be tenuous, awkward, and painful. Friendzoning could be the most effective way to navigate the situation, but cutting off contact altogether might also be useful for a time until one or both of you has moved on.

When friendzoning, honesty is the best policy. Beating around the bush and hinting will only cloud the issue further, while honestly stating where you stand and where you expect to stand in the future allows you and the person being friend-zoned to move forward or move on.

If you struggle setting boundaries, communicating in your relationships, or find yourself perpetually enmeshed in friendships with people whose interest in you is primarily romantic, consider reaching out to a therapist who can help you work through some of those difficulties.

Therapists can help you develop more effective communication skills, learn stronger boundary-setting, and forge healthier relationships. Tell them directly that you enjoy their friendship but do not want any romantic or sexual relationship with them. Being direct when you are friend-zoning someone is really the most compassionate thing you can do. Certainly, let them know you value their friendship and have a lot of respect for them.

But the bottom line is that you are not doing them any favors by letting them think there will ever be any way to find the romantic relationship they want with you. When you've been friend-zoned, you have two options — you can either give romance another shot or accept it gracefully. In some cases, the person who has put you in the friend zone does not even realize you are attracted to them. They merely never thought of you that way. They might want to take you out of the friend zone once they know how you feel.

If you give it one last shot and let you know they are definitely not interested, it is time to let it go. The other option when you've been friend-zoned is to accept it and move on. You can either stay in the friend zone with your good friend or let the friendship go and focus on building a social life without them. Meeting new friends and possible romantic partners may be the best and happiest thing you can do at that point. The bottom line is that you cannot force a person to stop friend-zoning you if that is what they want.

Once you know they want you in the friend zone, the best thing to do is accept it and move on. But this requires some emotional resilience. Bouncing back from this kind of rejection may be a bit difficult. Yet through therapy, you can develop greater resilience to deal with this situation and learn to have better romantic relationships and friendships at the same time. Each year I find myself studying the ITV2 reality show like a David Attenborough nature documentary, watching carefully for new quirks, norms and hetero-isms as the cast of oiled up influencers-in-the-making search for love and a Boohoo endorsement deal in the Majorcan sun.

Love Island is a dating show, where the pretence is forming a romantic connection and winning a cash prize. My main issue with friend-zoning is that it creates a hierarchy, where friendship becomes the consolation prize if neither romance or sex are on the cards. But these types of relationships being put on such a pedestal is frustrating to me, because friendships can be equally meaningful. Ryan Campinho Valadas , a queer-identifying Integrative Therapist at Self Space , tells Cosmopolitan UK that this has roots in heterosexual norms that centre procreation and marriage.

We still very much live under the influence and the impact of those norms. Valadas thinks dynamics like this, which we start perceiving from childhood, play into what we expect from connections in adulthood.

This might well be true on a case-by-case basis, depending on the people concerned and their desires and boundaries, but it feels like a restrictive mantra to subscribe to. This is perhaps the silliest thing about the friendzone: friendships actually lead to relationships. When you meet, they are edgy or distracted wondering how to break it to you, no doubt.

Need I go on? Because you know. You know you do. The most obvious answer may be the hardest to take: let it happen. Persistence, insistence, denial, anger and lashing out against the inevitable will only speed it up and move you to a different zone altogether: a no-go zone. Kvetching about it at someone who sees you as a friend will leave you feeling humiliated and, ultimately, even further from where you wanted to be. If you think about it, you have only two options when someone says they want to be friends: accept it and be friends or refuse and get the hell out of their life.

There is no third way. If they change their mind, it has to come from them and not be brought about by wearing them down. It can hurt when romantic desire is unrequited.