Why do 6 year olds lie

Kids often go through a phase where they fib all the time. But when do harmless little white lies cross over into being a full-blown problem? That was the question that one parent had about a 6-year-old daughter who seems to have a problem with telling lies way too often for her parent's comfort. Is her constant lies a normal phase or should this parent be worried?

As the anonymous parent explained in a letter written to Slate's Care and Feeding advice column, they have an imaginative, playful, and creative 6-year-old daughter, but she has one bad habit that has become worrisome. The parent isn't sure that the lies were an attempt to mislead her parents or misbehave. It might be that the girl just wanted to contribute to the conversation even if she had to make up facts or details about the thing she's talking about.

The parent wrote that they've tried having a conversation with their daughter about her lying, but now they are wondering if there is something else going on. If you suspect that she's deceiving you for one of these reasons, have a heart-to-heart with her, encouraging her to talk about her anxieties.

You may need to consider lowering your expectations so she can achieve success in smaller, more manageable steps, which will boost her self-confidence. Rather than pushing for top scores in all her school subjects, for instance, pick one like math and work on that first.

Reassure your grade-schooler, too, that you'll always love her, no matter what she says or does. If her lying is becoming chronic, a deeper issue may be to blame.

In that case, a child counselor or family therapist can help her get to the root of the problem. Swap stories and advice about behavior and discipline with other parents in the BabyCenter Community. Join now to personalize. Photo credit: istock. Why grade-schoolers lie What to do about lying. Why grade-schoolers lie Somewhere, sometime, during your child's early school years, she'll open her sweet mouth and out will pop a whopper of a lie — you can count on it. What to do about lying First, you need to know what you're dealing with.

When your youngster concocts a cover-up, try taking the following steps: Stay calm, and don't take it personally. Instead, use it as an opportunity to teach her about honesty. Find out why she's covering up. When you ask your grade-schooler to explain why she lied about leaving the gate open, she may admit that she was afraid of upsetting you or didn't want to be blamed for the dog's disappearance.

Explain why it's wrong to lie. Point out to your child that while it was her responsibility to close the gate behind her, mistakes happen and are forgiven. Lying about her mistakes, on the other hand, is unacceptable. Focus on the motive, not the lie. Rather than getting all worked up about her lie, tell your youngster that you're disappointed because she didn't take responsibility for her actions Decide on reasonable — but not overly harsh — consequences.

Rather than punish your grade-schooler, think about ways she can help make amends for her mistake. She might print up a batch of "lost dog" flyers to post around the neighborhood, for instance. Here are some tips: Have conversations about lying and telling the truth with your children. For example, if you ask your child if they spilled the milk, your child might feel tempted to lie.

Praise your child for owning up to doing something wrong. Be a role model for telling the truth. Use a joke to encourage your child to own up to a lie without conflict. Here are more ideas to handle deliberate lying: Make a time to talk calmly with your child about how lying makes you feel, how it affects your relationship with your child, and what it might be like if family and friends stop trusting your child.

This might lead to even more lying. Age and development play a role, too. Teens may tell lies to protect their privacy. Has there been a change in environment? Does she have a new group of friends? Is something stressful happening at school or at home that might explain the behavior? People often think that lying is an act of defiance. That can happen when kids have trouble with self-control , organizing their thoughts, or thinking about consequences.

These difficulties are related to a group of skills called executive functions. In fact, they often feel really bad about it when they realize they did it.