Rubin what makes us human

With its eloquent charisma and wit, the book successfully dodges the preachiness bullet, offering instead a captivating journey into the greatest human pursuit and the many, often crazy, ways in which we go about attaining that elusive holy grail. The Marginalian participates in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn commissions by linking to Amazon.

To change your habits successfully, you have to understand yourself first. Never miss the latest from Gretchen Rubin by subscribing to one of her 7 newsletters. Learn how to harness self-knowledge to make practical changes so you can create the life you want. Sign up to get my free weekly newsletter.

It highlights the best material from here, my Facebook Page, and new original work. Visit my new Happiness Project collection and shop journals, drinkware, organizational tools, and more. I have a newsletter for that! Questioners want justifications. Obligers need accountability. Rebels want freedom to do something their own way.

Obligers respond well to supervision, scheduling, monitoring, deadlines, reminders, and other forms of accountability. But Rebels resist accountability!

They hate to be reminded, scheduled, or being stuck in a routine. They want choice, freedom, authenticity, and self-expression. If a Rebel wants to exercise, she thinks about what she feels like doing right now, what she enjoys doing, and what kind of person she is. Or think about it in a work context. Schawbel: How can The Four Tendencies improve the performance and happiness of a team? Rubin: When we understand our Tendency, we can take advantage of the upsides of our Tendency, and counteract its limitations and downsides.

For instance, say your team includes a Rebel. If you ask or tell Rebels to do something, you ignite their spirit of resistance. Rebels do their best work when left to do it in their own way, in their own time. By contrast, an Obliger on the team need accountability, so for that person, you would want deadlines and oversight.

When we understand how the Four Tendencies operate, we become more tolerant and compassionate. It has nothing to do with me, or our relationship. Another example? At work, Questioners can sometimes drain and frustrate others with their many questions. Others may feel that Questioners are being obstructionist, stubborn, insubordinate, or not being a team player — but the Questioners are just trying to get their questions answered. Along the same lines, Upholders are often unrealistic in their expectations for other people.